غــــــــــــــــــــــــزة
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Al Zaidi Tortured
شقيق الزيدي زاره وقبّل يده التي ضرب بها بوش ونقل عنه :إنهالوا عليّ بالضرب وسمعت الامريكان يقولون"لا .. لا " ولو رأيت
بوش سأكرر المشهد ..
عمون - بغداد - روى عدي الزيدي الشقيق الأكبر للصحفي العراقي منتظر الزيدي امس تفاصيل زيارته إلى شقيقة في أروقة المحكمة الجنائية العراقية بعد أكثر من أسبوع على اعتقاله من قبل السلطات العراقية على خلفية قذفه الرئيس الأمريكي جورج بوش بفردتي حذائه في 14 من الشهر الجاري في مؤتمر صحفي مع رئيس الوزراء العراقي نوري المالكي في العاصمة بغداد.
وقال الزيدي في مقابلة مع تلفزيون (البغدادية): أمضيت ساعة و30 دقيقة مع شقيقي وتحدثنا بجرأة متناهية وعندما دخلت على منتظر الزيدي في غرف المحكمة قبلت يده لأكون أول شخص يقبل اليد التي ضربت الرئيس الأمريكي جورج بوش (لكن) بعدما قبلتها شعرت أنه يتوجع منها فعرفت منه أنه تعرض للتعذيب.
وقال منتظر الزيدي: بعد أن ضربت بوش بالحذاء انهالوا علي بالضرب وأسمع عناصر الأمن الأمريكيين يقولون.. " لا لا "وهذا الكلام على لسان منتظر وهو للتأريخ وتكررت كلمة لا لمرات لكن بدون مجيب.
وأضاف: لم اخضع لأي تحقيق من قبل الجانب الأمريكي وعلى بعد أمتار من مكان المؤتمر أبعدني عناصر حماية رئيس الحكومة بمسافة أمتار عن مكان المؤتمر الصحفي وقاموا بعصب يدي إلى الوراء وانهالوا علي بقضيب من حديد ورغم استغاثاتي لم يستجب أحد ثم قام أحدهم بتوجيه لكمة قوية إلى وجهي فكسر أحد أسناني بعدها انهالوا علي بركلات بالأرجل إلى أن فقدت الوعي.
ويستطرد منتظر الزيدي قائلا: تم نقلي إلى مكان مهجور في المنطقة الخضراء مدمر من جراء الحرب بعد ساعات من الحادثة وعادوا هذه المرة بالضرب بأسلاك كهربائية وبيدهم كاميرا وهم يقولون لي من هي الجهة التي كلفتك بهذا العمل وقلت لهم الشعب العراقي هو الذي كلفني وقالو لي لا تكن وطنيا.وأوضح منتظر أن أفراد حماية رئيس الحكومة استعملوا الكهرباء خلال عمليات التعذيب وقاموا بخلع ملابسي واستعملوا شتى أنواع التعذيب حتى أني قلت لهم أعطوني ورقة لأكتب لكم ما تريدون أي جهة حتى الجهة التي أنتم تريدوها وسأكتب لكم أرسلتني هذه الجهة وأعطتني المال.
وقال عدي على لسان شقيقه منتظر: في ساعات الفجر من اليوم التالي دخل علي أحد أفراد الحماية وأنا في وضع صعب للغاية ورمى علي ماء بارداً وقام بضربي بالأسلاك الكهربائية بعدها جاءني مسؤول من الحكومة وقال لي لماذا فعلت ذلك ؟ فقلت له إذا أحس رئيس الوزراء بالإهانه أنا مستعد أن أكتب خطيا للاعتذار منه وأنا فعلت ذلك من أجل اليتامى والثكالى ثم ابتعد لمسافة حتى أنهال أفراد الحماية علي بالضرب مرة أخرى.
وأضاف: بعد كل هذا التعذيب قلت لأفراد الحماية إخواني أنا ربما كنت مخمورا أو فاقدا للوعي عندما ضربت بوش بالحذاء وإني لا من أجل الشعب العراقي ولا غيره فعلت ذلك.
وقال عدي هناك تورم في (مناطق) الرجلين والقدمين واليدين والظهر والوجه والأنف وعينيه (منتظر) حمراء و(هناك) جروح وخدوش وإنه يواجه صعوبة في نطق الحروف وإذا كذب أي شخص روايتي فأنا أقول لهم أخرجوه اليوم عبر شاشات التلفزيون كما أن هناك حروقا في أذنه بأعقاب السجائر وحالات أخرى عديدة وهذه المشاهدة واللقاء تمكنت لحضور اثنين من أعضاء منظمة حقوق الإنسان.وأضاف: أن منتظر أبلغ السلطات القضائية بجميع تفاصيل التعذيب وأن القاضي أمر برفع دعوى قضائية على هؤلاء أيا كانت الجهة التي يعملون لديها ورفع دعوة قضائية ضد صحفي عراقي يعمل في محطة تلفزيون كردية قام بضربه بعد الحادث.
وقال عدي إن منتظر قال إن الذي قمت به هو ثمن بسيط من أجل الشهداء واليتامى.. أنا لست بعثيا ولا شيوعيا ولا صدريا ولا دعوة ولا مجلس الإسلامي ولا من عناصر المقاومة ولا اتبع لجهات سنية ولا شيعية ولا صابئية وفعلتها من أجل الشعب العراقي وإذا عاد بي الزمن من جديد سأفعلها مع بوش وأنا أقول هل أوفيت إلى الشعب العراقي.
وأوضح أن شقيقي اعتقل أولا بيد أفراد حماية رئيس الحكومة ثم أحيل بعدها إلى القضاء بعد أن بقي 24 ساعة تحت التعذيب وبعدها توقفت عملية التعذيب وأرسل رسالة مكتوبة إلى رئيس الحكومة ذكر فيها انه لم يقصد شخص رئيس الحكومة العراقية وهي ليست تحت ضغط وأنه كان في كامل قواه العقلية ومن داخل المحكمة.
وقال عدي الزيدي إن منتظر أبلغني أن من دفعني لضرب بوش هم أبناء الشهداء والمعتقلين والأرامل والفقراء والمهجرين.. هؤلاء السفاحين الذي دفعوني وإذا كان هؤلاء هم السفاحون فليقطع رئيس الحكومة رؤوسهم جميعا.
وأضاف: خلال التعذيب طلب مني أن أقول الجهة الفلانية أرسلتني وقلت لهم هذه الجهة ليست من مذهبي وأن أي جهة لم ترسلني وبعد التعذيب قلت لهم أعطوني ورقة بيضاء بتوقيعي واكتبوا أنتم الجهة التي تريدوها وأنا مستعد للقبول بها وأنهم كانوا يصرون على ذكر جهة واحدة أو اثنين وراء تنفيذ العملية.- د ب أ -.
____________________
Democracy! yeah right! those people were raised upon brutality and they have never known another method in dealing with matters except for this! so what do you expect? it is in their blood! a bunch of animals!! tfeh!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Muntathar Al Zaidi
First of all, I would like to express my utmost disturbance by the fact that they keep on calling him MuntaDHar. Where the heck did they get that from!! His name is MuntaTHar people! MuntaTHar!!
Now back to the subject:
All this dilemma about Muntathar AlZaidi being sunni, shie or a communist! What difference does that make! He is simply an Iraqi hero PERIOD! He is a high-quality person with an awakening conscience and that what matters the most! He is an Iraqi who adores Iraq and that’s it! There are no further interpretations for the subject! Loving ones nation is beyond any affiliation or religion. This guy simply reached the sublime with his pure love to his country- A love that is only related to Iraq and Iraqis. Does being shii or a communist make him less heroic?? Well not for me!!
And for all those who say “shame on Muntathar” well.. SHAME ON YOU GUYS!! I have no idea how the human brain functions nowadays! An Iraqi threw his shoes at the dog bush.. and just a flashback, bush invaded Iraq using false accusations, destroyed the country, dislocated millions, killed other millions and up till now the country is in total chaos!! Isn’t it clear enough that people don’t want America in Iraq and they are actually fed up with this invasion? Isn’t it obvious that not only Iraqis but also Arabs are not in harmony with the american plan! Isn’t it obvious that enough is enough! If all this (as they claim) was for the benefit of the region, and the region sends such a farewell to bush.. then what are they still doing here! ah yeah! They are not here for the advantage of anyone except themselves and their zioist ally!
In my opinion, yeah shame on you Muntathar! You should have brought a grenade with you instead of the shoes!!!!!
For all those who keep on comparing what has happened during the previous Saddami regime and how Muntathar would have been shot right at spot, guys Saddam is dead and it has been about 5 years since the invasion and you are still comparing! Isn’t this supposed to be the new democratic Iraq, with a new perspective and a new path! Isn’t it time yet to ditch the past and focus on the present and future! Then why can’t we observe much of a difference at the status queue! The Journalist has been tortured and beaten up in front of live-broadcasting cameras, if all that took place in front of millions what do you think they are capable of doing behind closed doors, in “custody”. And the fact that since the incident the guy simply has disappeared; this is a remarkable proof that he is being tortured. The government’s lame excuses that they are doing this for his own safety! People love him, they want him out of jail!! What safety are they talking about? The safety they want to demolish throughout the torture process!! They broke his ribs, broke his arm, bruised his eye, and much much more! so nothing really has changed during the past 10 years not only 5! Who are they misleading!! Why didn’t they allow his lawyer to defend him?? Actually they didn’t even allow him to meet Muntathar!! Why don’t they make a media conference to show that Muntathar is safe and sound!! Only cameras!!
Muntathar might get forgotten but his act will always be remembered as the heroic act that took place sometime approaching the end of 2008 and while bush was on his goodbye trip to Iraq and after signing the security agreement a young honorable Iraqi man threw his shoes at the dog! He had the courage and the pride to do what tens of millions always wanted to do!
Bless you Muntathar AlZaidi! Our hearts and minds are all with you and your family!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Falling into the blues!
It has been 3 days already since I resumed my “life” after a 12-day vacation and I’m falling into the blues!
I always liked the fact that I don’t fall easily into depression. I have always had the ability and the powers to push it away but this time I have no idea what is going on! I used to be kinda laid back not paying much worry to what is going on in my life – not reckless though.. always considered them incidents passing by and dealt with them with ease! This time, I just feel like giving up, surrendering to my melancholy! Nothing really encourages me to bounce back! Just falling and falling. I can’t find the solid bottom in me, the solid ground to push the gloomy chunk away! And I can’t put my finger on a specific wound! Coz it is not that comprehensible neither!!
I consider myself a very strong person with a lot of nerve and motivation! But what’s wrong with me? I have no idea!!! For God sake I cried over Wall.E last night! I can’t believe I cried over a ROBOT! Like come on! I usually mock my little sister for being extra emotional! But not me! I don’t really know what kind of a void I have inside! But I know one thing, I’m not gonna keep it empty for long! I will stuff it.. with stuff!! Meanwhile I just wanna stay alone, I don’t feel like mingling with anyone.. just wanna stay in bed and rap my self with my blanket and listen to full-of-sorrow songs! I think I’m gonna isolate myself from the outer world for a bit!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Cursed...
Cursed..
Cursed; this ridiculous life of mine
Barely ever smiles or shines
In the tedious ripple I struggle
With no guide nor sign
Enough with the anger,
Enough with the solitude!
Where to sneak? Where to hide?
It’s there stalking my shivering light
Dragging me to a hideous thunderstorm
And the chains chocking me to the bone!
Ambiguous figures speak in no tone
Decide to what path I shall move on
Stabbing daggers and demolishing souls
No mercy, no concern
Just monsters claiming sustain
And I hardly pull it through
Empty as the heart of a grieving widow
Cracked like the surface of an arid meadow
Will my soul ever bloom?
Or shall I escape this gloom?
Horrible things happen.. that’s true
But it hurts when it hits in two!
Throughout the fields I maneuver
And I wish not to get caught in a corner
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
خاطرة
هي الدنيا نجاريها و نأمل
في أحد أزقتها أن نلاقيها
لم السفر.. لم الترحال.. أبحثا عن أمانينا
وأي أمانٍ تلك.. حين يهرب الاطمئنان
برغد العيش كم نحلم
وكم نحلم.. بقصر الماس والمرجان
نسابق الجرح والنسيان
نسابق التعب و الآلام
وفي خضم مآسينا نسينا
كم هو جميل ماضينا
بساطة العيش والبستان
وقدح السمر آونة
وكوب الضحك ممتلئٌ
بباب البيت متّكئٌ
ولا أحلى
وفي العليا نجمٌ يناجينا
وعلى ذيك الشرفة ضوء كوكبة
يلف الغوالي بذي دفئ
ينادي.. ينادينا لم الهجر والفرقان
ما أحلاه من ماض
ولكن عنه لم أنا ماضٍ؟
في رحلة الكرب والهجران
في رحلة البعد والنكران
ورغم ذي وجع أمضي
متكئاً على ذكرياتٍ تلتهب كالنيران
وكل ما أبغي ها هنا خلفي
أمضي في صحراء مغتربي
وأرتحل مع قافلة النسيان
أتلك عجرفة الإنسان؟
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Leila - Part 2
Chapter II
It has been sometime during October 2000, and it has been her first working day ever! She laid her hand on her first job! What a feeling!
She was a fresh graduate; actually she has only graduated three months ago, the top of her class, a brilliant accountant.
It has always been such a surprise for people when they knew she studied Accounting! What would a girl do as an accountant?! It has always been for them such a masculine field and that always bothered Leila! She loved numbers! Is it that strange for someone to love numbers? Even for a girl! So what? She loved equations! She loved auditing! She loved budgets! She loved financial analysis! She loved all that! And she took it as a career.
For someone with her skills and talents, it hasn’t been such a hard thing to find a job. She was smart, confident, and eager to learn. You could sense professionalism in her attitude, she was simply a catch. A piece of clay waiting to be shaped! Raw material ready to be manufactured!
Waiting at the reception, she looked around her. The light blue room; the walls, the floor, even the couches, they were all in light blue. “They’ve always said light blue is such a soothing color, it gives you peace and hope, but I guess in certain situations light blue is not good enough!!” she thought. “am I too early, but she was the one who told me to be here at 8am sharp, maybe she got busy, what if they changed their minds! What if they suddenly recognized that they don’t need me anymore!” she felt a drop in her heart. “Come on Leila, it is not that bad! The receptionist already informed her, she must have got a little busy that’s why!” she thought, trying to push herself to relax..
It was around 8:30am when the HR officer showed up extremely apologetic for the delay.
After a little chat, she took her into an introductory tour around the company. Leila could definitely feel the butterflies in her stomach. She was now an adult, a responsible one who joined the rest of the world in their battle for achievement! The idea of change has always frightened her but it didn’t matter anymore; she was on the right track, building her professional career and a little bit of anxiety wouldn’t stop her.
She walked through the corridors and into the offices, lots of faces and lots of designations; she managed to memories some though. Now they reached to the Accounts Department, her final destination, and the butterflies wouldn’t stop now, would they!
She has met the Head of Department previously, Mr. Ali an elderly man with such an aura, a decent gentleman rapped in wisdom and solemnity. But what about the rest of the team? Would they accept her? Would they consider her an intruder? Would she be the “newbie”? How would they treat her? “Well, everything is about to get revealed anyways! It is kinda too late for such questions, isn’t it Leila!” she thought.
At the door, Mr. Ali waited for them and from there he took the HR Officer’s job to introduce Leila to the rest of the team.
“So! Welcome on board & the best of all! Don’t forget us at the HR Department! We’re here to help ok!” said the HR Officer while heading it to the stairway.
“Thanks!” replied Leila while all the voices inside her head screamed “Wait! Don’t Go Now!”. After all Susan was the only familiar face around since they have met several times during the interviews.
Leading her through the way, Mr. Ali welcomed her into the department. It was such a huge area divided into 5 cubicles and one separate office. The big separate office was vacant along with one of the cubicles. The vacant cubicle was for her and the office for Mr. Ali she assumed. Taking another look around the room she also noticed that she was the only girl at the place! She was shy by nature; confident but still shy- of men. What a weird combination!
They were Adel- the nerd with the thick glasses and who was obviously more nervous than she was, Walid- the chubby dude with the messy desk, Omar- the well-dressed guy with the good manners and the Deputy Head of Department, and Sami- the guy who was busy on the phone (apparently with a female, a girlfriend maybe) and who waved her a hi from above his screen without even looking at her. Those were her colleagues, the faces and brains she’d spent 8 hours a day, 5 days a week with! “God be with me” she thought.
She was a fresh graduate; actually she has only graduated three months ago, the top of her class, a brilliant accountant.
It has always been such a surprise for people when they knew she studied Accounting! What would a girl do as an accountant?! It has always been for them such a masculine field and that always bothered Leila! She loved numbers! Is it that strange for someone to love numbers? Even for a girl! So what? She loved equations! She loved auditing! She loved budgets! She loved financial analysis! She loved all that! And she took it as a career.
For someone with her skills and talents, it hasn’t been such a hard thing to find a job. She was smart, confident, and eager to learn. You could sense professionalism in her attitude, she was simply a catch. A piece of clay waiting to be shaped! Raw material ready to be manufactured!
Waiting at the reception, she looked around her. The light blue room; the walls, the floor, even the couches, they were all in light blue. “They’ve always said light blue is such a soothing color, it gives you peace and hope, but I guess in certain situations light blue is not good enough!!” she thought. “am I too early, but she was the one who told me to be here at 8am sharp, maybe she got busy, what if they changed their minds! What if they suddenly recognized that they don’t need me anymore!” she felt a drop in her heart. “Come on Leila, it is not that bad! The receptionist already informed her, she must have got a little busy that’s why!” she thought, trying to push herself to relax..
It was around 8:30am when the HR officer showed up extremely apologetic for the delay.
After a little chat, she took her into an introductory tour around the company. Leila could definitely feel the butterflies in her stomach. She was now an adult, a responsible one who joined the rest of the world in their battle for achievement! The idea of change has always frightened her but it didn’t matter anymore; she was on the right track, building her professional career and a little bit of anxiety wouldn’t stop her.
She walked through the corridors and into the offices, lots of faces and lots of designations; she managed to memories some though. Now they reached to the Accounts Department, her final destination, and the butterflies wouldn’t stop now, would they!
She has met the Head of Department previously, Mr. Ali an elderly man with such an aura, a decent gentleman rapped in wisdom and solemnity. But what about the rest of the team? Would they accept her? Would they consider her an intruder? Would she be the “newbie”? How would they treat her? “Well, everything is about to get revealed anyways! It is kinda too late for such questions, isn’t it Leila!” she thought.
At the door, Mr. Ali waited for them and from there he took the HR Officer’s job to introduce Leila to the rest of the team.
“So! Welcome on board & the best of all! Don’t forget us at the HR Department! We’re here to help ok!” said the HR Officer while heading it to the stairway.
“Thanks!” replied Leila while all the voices inside her head screamed “Wait! Don’t Go Now!”. After all Susan was the only familiar face around since they have met several times during the interviews.
Leading her through the way, Mr. Ali welcomed her into the department. It was such a huge area divided into 5 cubicles and one separate office. The big separate office was vacant along with one of the cubicles. The vacant cubicle was for her and the office for Mr. Ali she assumed. Taking another look around the room she also noticed that she was the only girl at the place! She was shy by nature; confident but still shy- of men. What a weird combination!
They were Adel- the nerd with the thick glasses and who was obviously more nervous than she was, Walid- the chubby dude with the messy desk, Omar- the well-dressed guy with the good manners and the Deputy Head of Department, and Sami- the guy who was busy on the phone (apparently with a female, a girlfriend maybe) and who waved her a hi from above his screen without even looking at her. Those were her colleagues, the faces and brains she’d spent 8 hours a day, 5 days a week with! “God be with me” she thought.
Leila - Part 1
Leila
Chapter I
As she opened the door, she could only see a part of the living room. It was dark in there with some beams sneaking through the curtains; striking the room with unwanted.. hope!
There were the sofa, the TV, the coffee table, and the carpet. His smell almost faded away. She couldn’t sense the colors any more; everything was pitch-black, gloomy just like the dress she was wearing. There were no colors! No flavors! No scents! Only the dusky room staring back at her!
“Am I at the right place?!” she snapped out of her thoughts, took a few steps back, gazed at the number above the door frame, stared and stared as if the number was not clear enough, or maybe those were her tears blocking the scene!
“it is the right address, it is where I live, but where is home!!” mumbling to herself she burst into tears and rushed into the inner room and there he was standing like a victorious knight in his dark tuxedo grabbing her by the waste like his own trophy, his lifetime prize, the one thing he heart-fully worked hard to get; and there she was next to him in her ivory dress glowing like a diamond! The sparkling eyes! Oh, their sparkling eyes! They could overwhelm the world with joy! Everlasting happiness!! You could definitely tell that those two were in love! Profound and heavenly love!
With hesitant steps she reached to the picture laying on the side-table. She held it with one hand and wiped her tears off with the other.
“Now what?” she wept, “What am I supposed to do? How do you expect me to survive now?! You left and forever! How could you do that to me!! How could you!! You left me! ME! Your Love!!”. All she got back was the flashy smile of his, nothing more! That frustrated her even more! She held the frame high above her head willing to smash it into the tinniest bits ever, her eyes determined; focused on the ground and there it was next to her foot, the note he left her on his pillow on that doomed morning, folded nicely and dropped right there next to the bed, she reached her hand and picked it up “I Adore YOU!” it said; as if he knew. On her knees now, she couldn’t but sob even more! She held the picture tight to her chest. She squeezed and squeezed until it almost cracked. She didn’t want to let go, they were one, and that was how they were supposed to go on with their lives! One!
Tired and exhausted; she pulled the blanket over her weary body and rolled over the huge bed.
It must have been 8pm when the bell rang. Terrified, she woke up. Uncertain of what was going on or where she was. It took her few moments to bounce back into her awful reality.
Dragging herself out of bed, she reached the door half-conscious. She opened it and at the door step were her parents.
There she was standing in front of them, their 24 year old sweet Leila.. a widow!
She has been such an adorable child – and will always be – a vivid, full of life little girl! Who grew up to be such a smart and successful woman! All the beautiful memories faded away once they noticed the black dress, just like the smoke her father blew into the void; disappeared. With the pity in their eyes they entered. Her father suited himself on the sofa, and her mother headed it to the curtains pulling them away.
“Go wash up your face” her father whispered to her, “Did you say something?” her mother followed. “Nothing, just leave the curtains and come and sit down” her father noted.
Unwilling, but forced to do so, Leila pulled her suffer to the toilet hoping she would drawn it there along with her sorrow. Above the sink she stood looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her other “self” was right at the opposite side pitying her and sympathizing! She hated that “self” a lot. She shut her eyes, moved her face away and dried it with the tiny towel to her right. She made sure not to look at the cologne bottle located to her left, which was boldly challenging her to take a glimpse.
If she were alone, she would have done that with no hesitation. She would have hugged and absorbed that bottle! She would have told that bottle how much she missed Sami! She would have had endless conversations with that bottle; they would have talked and moaned for hours! But she knew she couldn’t, not with her parents waiting for her in the other room.
“I need you to pack up and get ready, you are moving back to our place” the father said.
“Dad, this is my place and I won’t leave it, not yet!” an astonished Leila replied.
“Don’t argue with me Leila, I’m telling you; you are moving back! end of discussion! It has been three days already! Isn’t that enough for you?” the father replied with a raise in his tone.
“Three days! Three days?!! You said it; it has been three days not thirty years dad! What..”
“I told you he wasn’t good enough for you! But you never listen” the mother interrupted.
“What are you talking about?! How is this related to anything now!! He is my husband! How could you…”
“WAS! Was your husband! And I think it is time for you to get over this!” the father screamed.
Barely holding herself, torn apart from the inside, and extremely disappointed with her parents; with a steady foot she reached the door and opened it widely; “I’m sorry, I am really really sorry, but I need to stay by my self now. Please leave” Leila holding the door.
Dissatisfied with her reaction, her parents moved slowly towards the door; “just give it a thought and you will realize that we’re doing this for your own good” her father said with a frown on his face.
Listening to the footsteps fading downwards along with the long curvy stairs, she slammed the door as hard as she could, and with an ocean of tears in her eyes; she ran into the room weeping and hardly breathing. She grabbed the picture, “I Adore You Too” she screamed, “I Adore you, are you listening?! I Adore You!” she yelled at the picture while sliding to the ground. Next to the bed she collapsed, falling into her own grieve, love, faithfulness, and solitude. With no one to really understand or care, the only person who once cared was no longer there. Shut upon herself she stayed for hours, thinking nothing about the future, nor about the present; all she thought about was the 2 most wonderful years she had ever lived. By his side, wrapped in his arms; there with him she found her sanctuary.
There were the sofa, the TV, the coffee table, and the carpet. His smell almost faded away. She couldn’t sense the colors any more; everything was pitch-black, gloomy just like the dress she was wearing. There were no colors! No flavors! No scents! Only the dusky room staring back at her!
“Am I at the right place?!” she snapped out of her thoughts, took a few steps back, gazed at the number above the door frame, stared and stared as if the number was not clear enough, or maybe those were her tears blocking the scene!
“it is the right address, it is where I live, but where is home!!” mumbling to herself she burst into tears and rushed into the inner room and there he was standing like a victorious knight in his dark tuxedo grabbing her by the waste like his own trophy, his lifetime prize, the one thing he heart-fully worked hard to get; and there she was next to him in her ivory dress glowing like a diamond! The sparkling eyes! Oh, their sparkling eyes! They could overwhelm the world with joy! Everlasting happiness!! You could definitely tell that those two were in love! Profound and heavenly love!
With hesitant steps she reached to the picture laying on the side-table. She held it with one hand and wiped her tears off with the other.
“Now what?” she wept, “What am I supposed to do? How do you expect me to survive now?! You left and forever! How could you do that to me!! How could you!! You left me! ME! Your Love!!”. All she got back was the flashy smile of his, nothing more! That frustrated her even more! She held the frame high above her head willing to smash it into the tinniest bits ever, her eyes determined; focused on the ground and there it was next to her foot, the note he left her on his pillow on that doomed morning, folded nicely and dropped right there next to the bed, she reached her hand and picked it up “I Adore YOU!” it said; as if he knew. On her knees now, she couldn’t but sob even more! She held the picture tight to her chest. She squeezed and squeezed until it almost cracked. She didn’t want to let go, they were one, and that was how they were supposed to go on with their lives! One!
Tired and exhausted; she pulled the blanket over her weary body and rolled over the huge bed.
It must have been 8pm when the bell rang. Terrified, she woke up. Uncertain of what was going on or where she was. It took her few moments to bounce back into her awful reality.
Dragging herself out of bed, she reached the door half-conscious. She opened it and at the door step were her parents.
There she was standing in front of them, their 24 year old sweet Leila.. a widow!
She has been such an adorable child – and will always be – a vivid, full of life little girl! Who grew up to be such a smart and successful woman! All the beautiful memories faded away once they noticed the black dress, just like the smoke her father blew into the void; disappeared. With the pity in their eyes they entered. Her father suited himself on the sofa, and her mother headed it to the curtains pulling them away.
“Go wash up your face” her father whispered to her, “Did you say something?” her mother followed. “Nothing, just leave the curtains and come and sit down” her father noted.
Unwilling, but forced to do so, Leila pulled her suffer to the toilet hoping she would drawn it there along with her sorrow. Above the sink she stood looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her other “self” was right at the opposite side pitying her and sympathizing! She hated that “self” a lot. She shut her eyes, moved her face away and dried it with the tiny towel to her right. She made sure not to look at the cologne bottle located to her left, which was boldly challenging her to take a glimpse.
If she were alone, she would have done that with no hesitation. She would have hugged and absorbed that bottle! She would have told that bottle how much she missed Sami! She would have had endless conversations with that bottle; they would have talked and moaned for hours! But she knew she couldn’t, not with her parents waiting for her in the other room.
“I need you to pack up and get ready, you are moving back to our place” the father said.
“Dad, this is my place and I won’t leave it, not yet!” an astonished Leila replied.
“Don’t argue with me Leila, I’m telling you; you are moving back! end of discussion! It has been three days already! Isn’t that enough for you?” the father replied with a raise in his tone.
“Three days! Three days?!! You said it; it has been three days not thirty years dad! What..”
“I told you he wasn’t good enough for you! But you never listen” the mother interrupted.
“What are you talking about?! How is this related to anything now!! He is my husband! How could you…”
“WAS! Was your husband! And I think it is time for you to get over this!” the father screamed.
Barely holding herself, torn apart from the inside, and extremely disappointed with her parents; with a steady foot she reached the door and opened it widely; “I’m sorry, I am really really sorry, but I need to stay by my self now. Please leave” Leila holding the door.
Dissatisfied with her reaction, her parents moved slowly towards the door; “just give it a thought and you will realize that we’re doing this for your own good” her father said with a frown on his face.
Listening to the footsteps fading downwards along with the long curvy stairs, she slammed the door as hard as she could, and with an ocean of tears in her eyes; she ran into the room weeping and hardly breathing. She grabbed the picture, “I Adore You Too” she screamed, “I Adore you, are you listening?! I Adore You!” she yelled at the picture while sliding to the ground. Next to the bed she collapsed, falling into her own grieve, love, faithfulness, and solitude. With no one to really understand or care, the only person who once cared was no longer there. Shut upon herself she stayed for hours, thinking nothing about the future, nor about the present; all she thought about was the 2 most wonderful years she had ever lived. By his side, wrapped in his arms; there with him she found her sanctuary.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
I’ve been robbed!!!
Never imagined that my first blog after a long break would be this!
I’ve been robbed!!! Yeah! My copyrights have been violated! My sweet little poem has been stolen!!! How could they take my little baby just like that! :'(
Thank god I’m narcissistic enough to google myself! :p Otherwise I would have never known!
http://maiioos.blogspot.com/2007/12/and-out-of-ashes-we-resurrect.html
for those who don't know.. this is called plagiarism!
________________________
And out of the ashes we resurrect
Angelic breeze.. accompanying;
a silky wave.. Shivering;
as it hits a passionate beach..
An emerald path;
courteously saluting those who succeed..
A dreamy scene.. Tenderly showered;
with shimmering daffodils;in rainbow colors..
A luxurious life.. A cuddling heaven..
No cries, no tears..
No blasts, no fears..
Just coy children playing in peace..
But wait!
I’m having another dream!
Suddenly reality reaches you;
as an overwhelming stream!
Alas! We are still captured within!
Tied, tortured, and oppressed!
Slaughtered, isolated, and dispossessed!
Surrounded by demonic fires,
Strangled by obnoxious fists!
Yet, in this grey heart of mine you still see;
a golden porch with a brighter future in the scene..
In this rigid heart of mine you still hear;
lullabies, giggles, and tiny footsteps hopping in cheer..
Out of the ashes we resurrect;
marching towards a vivid horizon..
Out of the dust we scatter;
colorful dreams and glittery desires..
They try to crush us, but
this rebellious soul won’t freeze..
They might spot us as;
pale shades and shapeless shadows;
But they know nothing about..
the boiling rage.. the provoking sorrows..
From torture we create a fete..
In despair we discover a bliss..
With those petite hands;
we’ll dig crossing-tunnels..
With our enthusiasm;
we’ll build astonishing castles..
Capturing us within.. Still we manage..
To dream..
To find a warm getaway of this realm..
To follow the enchanting nightingales..
To touch the silver beam..
To praise the divinity of this place..
Our determined spirit will always stand high and tall
Fighting for our honor, dignity, and all..
Here we duel.. Here we belong..
and here our being;
day after day;
is reborn!
And out of the ashes
we resurrect;
marching
towards a vivid horizon..
I’ve been robbed!!! Yeah! My copyrights have been violated! My sweet little poem has been stolen!!! How could they take my little baby just like that! :'(
Thank god I’m narcissistic enough to google myself! :p Otherwise I would have never known!
http://maiioos.blogspot.com/2007/12/and-out-of-ashes-we-resurrect.html
for those who don't know.. this is called plagiarism!
________________________
And out of the ashes we resurrect
Angelic breeze.. accompanying;
a silky wave.. Shivering;
as it hits a passionate beach..
An emerald path;
courteously saluting those who succeed..
A dreamy scene.. Tenderly showered;
with shimmering daffodils;in rainbow colors..
A luxurious life.. A cuddling heaven..
No cries, no tears..
No blasts, no fears..
Just coy children playing in peace..
But wait!
I’m having another dream!
Suddenly reality reaches you;
as an overwhelming stream!
Alas! We are still captured within!
Tied, tortured, and oppressed!
Slaughtered, isolated, and dispossessed!
Surrounded by demonic fires,
Strangled by obnoxious fists!
Yet, in this grey heart of mine you still see;
a golden porch with a brighter future in the scene..
In this rigid heart of mine you still hear;
lullabies, giggles, and tiny footsteps hopping in cheer..
Out of the ashes we resurrect;
marching towards a vivid horizon..
Out of the dust we scatter;
colorful dreams and glittery desires..
They try to crush us, but
this rebellious soul won’t freeze..
They might spot us as;
pale shades and shapeless shadows;
But they know nothing about..
the boiling rage.. the provoking sorrows..
From torture we create a fete..
In despair we discover a bliss..
With those petite hands;
we’ll dig crossing-tunnels..
With our enthusiasm;
we’ll build astonishing castles..
Capturing us within.. Still we manage..
To dream..
To find a warm getaway of this realm..
To follow the enchanting nightingales..
To touch the silver beam..
To praise the divinity of this place..
Our determined spirit will always stand high and tall
Fighting for our honor, dignity, and all..
Here we duel.. Here we belong..
and here our being;
day after day;
is reborn!
And out of the ashes
we resurrect;
marching
towards a vivid horizon..
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